I trip the light fantastic, and then I offer to help it up. And when the light fantastic is halfway up, I let go, and it falls again. Me and the light fantastic do not get along at all.
— Cecil

"The Registry of Middle School Crushes" is the 71st episode of Welcome to Night Vale. It was released on August 1, 2015.

Synopsis[edit | edit source]

A heist is planned. Plus the answer to last week's quiz and news about The Trial of the Century.

Plot Development[edit | edit source]

Recurring Segments[edit | edit source]


I had a dream in which cow-sized pugs existed. I was on a train, and one loped along outside my window. I’m sorry your dreams aren’t as good.
— Proverb

Notes[edit | edit source]

  • First appearance of the revised theme by Disparition.
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