Night Vale has "plenty of spiders".
"The Night Vale Medical Board has issued a new study, indicating that you have a spider somewhere on your body at all times but especially now. The study said that further research would be needed to determine exactly where on your body the spider is. and what it's intentions are. Only that it is definitely there and that it's statistically likely to be one of the really ugly ones."
"Friends, listeners; there’s a real tarantula problem here in Night Vale." In order to address concerns about increasing rates of illiteracy, unwanted pregnancy, and violent crime in the tarantula community, Animal Control started a series of after school volunteer programs called "Teach a Spider to Read, Stop the Madness."
Throat spiders are either an illness or a symptom of illness which occasionally afflicts Night Vale residents. From the tone Cecil uses when speaking of it, it can be cured, is moderately unpleasant, and victims may take a long time to heal. Joel Eisenberg, Night Vale's only expert on flying dinosaurs, can't talk about the pteronodons that showed up at the PTA Meeting because he's still recovering from a bout with throat spiders that afflicted him the previous year.
According to Kevin, throat spiders are usually treatable. Symptoms apparently include a strenuous cough; in the final phase of the condition, a muffled "pop" is heard and the spiders that had presumably been incubating in the victim's throat "[pour] over the craggy ledge that used to be a person's lower teeth."
Heart murmur spiders
Intern Rob had a heart murmur, and when he picked at it, the spiders got out. He also had blood streaming from his eyes and hit his head when he tried to lie down, but the important lesson, as Cecil says, is: "Never pick at a heart murmur!"
Wolf spider eggs are able to keep the embryos cool in desert heats and can be used as insulation.
Doing business with spiders
According to Louie Blasko, one should always honor their debts when doing business with spiders, as they neither forgive nor forget. Because of Blasko's debts they killed his favorite student, a clarinet player called Harold.
- Episode 20 "Poetry Week"
- Episode 10 "Feral Dogs"
- Episode 38 "The Shape in Grove Park"
- Episode 4 "PTA Meeting"
- Live episode "Condos" (last performance)
- Episode 70A "Taking Off"
- Episode 14 "The Man in the Tan Jacket" (live version)
- Episode 26 "Faceless Old Woman"
- Episode 138 "Harvest Time"
- Live show "Ghost Stories"