|“||Ladies and Gentlemen, good news. Mayor Pamela Winchell called a press conference moments ago declaring an end to our dog pack terror. The mayor announced that dogs were not actually dogs, just some plastic bags caught in the breeze that people mistook for wild dogs.||”|
Plastic Bags are a big problem in Night Vale, but they are not feral dogs. They are also not mostly mutts, possibly pit bull mixes, and their leader is not three-headed and wearing a great many "service medals and chevrons."
motives might be "meth and/or gang related" possibly armed possibly rabid definitely libertarian street artists might have been taught jujitsu, kickboxing, and knife fighting (according to Cecil)
- "There are no wild dogs in Night Vale," says Mayor Pamela Winchell.
- The plastic bags were safely returned to the Dog Park from whence they came.
- Injuries? Theft? PLASTIC. BAGS.
(Probably False) Reports and Sightings
- The Sheriff's Secret Police said that they attacked a group of elementary school children.
- Seen rooting around the dumpsters behind the library, reports the Pinkberry manager. The plastic bags made off with Chinese containers, a rusty futon frame, and two homeless men (who are "likely to become henchpeople to the [plastic bags]").
- The Sheriff's Secret Police also said that the plastic bags vandalized the Old Town Drawbridge with spray paint. They wrote "Gold standard is our standard" and "read your constitution" as well as an elaborate portrait of Alexander Hamilton wearing Groucho Marx glasses with the caption "
- They attacked two school boys near the playground at the Night Vale Elementary School, sending one to the hospital for "treatable leg injuries." Other boy was unharmed because he was a better boy, and "loved more by the
- They broke into the Night Vale Senior Center. The plastic bags stole the center's TVs and made internet stop working.
- Nerve gas and automatic pistols.