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Lauren Mallard is a member of StrexCorp's management who has been Night Vale Community Radio's program director since late January 2014[1], a StrexCorp executive since the beginning of April 2014[2] and the vice-president of StrexCorp and owner community supporter of Night Vale and Desert Bluffs Metropolitan Area since mid-June 2014[3]. She was appointed to her position by StrexCorp, and StrexCorp's interests are her primary concern. She has appeared on Night Vale Community Radio alongside host Cecil Palmer on several occasions, and, although she always speaks pleasantly, presents herself as friendly and easy-going, and never overtly speaks ill of anyone, she is unable to disguise her thinly veiled, roiling hatred for anyone who stands in opposition to StrexCorp's interests.

When asked for job interview tips with StrexCorp, Lauren's advice included: Dressing in the animal parts for the job you want not the job you have, if asked about your greatest weakness, just screech an unbroken tone for several grating minutes, have a question of your own prepared (you'll need something to ask yourself over your months in the night cage) train hard, and to bring your sharpest knife.[4]


Prior to his death/deactivation, Lauren is often described interacting with Daniel, and becomes concerned for him after having not returned from photographing the kittens.[5] She mentions asking Daniel to drive her places, and Cecil describes their routine of pressing themselves against the walls of the break room chanting “I take my warmth from your great warmth" repeatedly.[6]


Lauren has made appearances on the air three times so far, during her first two appearances, she not-so-subtly asked Cecil about enemies of StrexCorp; notably, she asked Cecil, "What's [his/her] name again?" in both instances.[1][2] On February 1, 2014, she was inquiring after Carlos the scientist, who had just forced StrexCorp to recall their line of transdimensional oranges after they began causing consumers to spontaneously cease to exist forever. On April 1, 2014, she was inquiring after Cecil's niece Janice, a likely ally of StrexCorp's most tenacious and resourceful enemy, Tamika Flynn.

Lauren Mallard's relationship with Cecil is also strained. Although she only speaks effusive praise for Cecil in her appearances on the air, on March 15, 2014, she gave him a StrexPet, a deceptively cute, ferocious bio-machine that brutally attacked Cecil and gravely wounded the station pet, Khoshekh, before finally being deactivated by Night Vale Animal Control.[7] Given Lauren's tendency to publicly praise her enemies while presumably plotting against them in private, it is likely that the StrexPet was a thinly veiled attempt to assassinate Cecil for his implicit support of Tamika Flynn's anti-StrexCorp rebellion.

Cecil is not oblivious to Lauren's antagonistic inquiries and purposely avoided naming his niece upon her asking (Lauren remembered on her own accord).

The Complete StrexCorp Takeover[]

On May 1, 2014, following Cecil and Tamika's failed rebellion, she and Kevin confronted Cecil[8] and apparently did away with him, for they ended up hosting the May 15, 2014, broadcast, claiming that they had always hosted the show. She also mentioned that they had arrested a group of scientists, but were unable to find Carlos.[9]

On June 1, 2014, Lauren and Kevin were still reporting on the Company Picnic when Cecil reentered the studio through an old Oak Door, scaring them away.[10] They ultimately found a secret location to hijack the Night Vale broadcast and did so during the June 15 broadcast.[3] However, their attempt at quelling the rebellion was reverted by Tamika Flynn, who, along with her army, scared Lauren into running back home to Desert Bluffs.[11] After the events, "Old Oak Doors Part B", Lauren wandered in The Other Empty Desert before she stumbled into New Desert Bluffs. During "Toast", she recorded a voice message with Kevin. It seems that now Kevin has some kind of authority over her.

In the Desert Otherworld[]

After fleeing to the Desert Otherworld, Lauren found home in Desert Bluffs Too. She was the town's mayor for a while, (although it seemed that Kevin still has the authority over her during that point.[12]) When angry citizens drew a permanent frown on her face, she was forced to give up her position (as anyone incapable of smiling cannot be mayor). It is unknown what she has been doing since then.



  1. 1.0 1.1 Episode 40 "The Deft Bowman"
  2. 2.0 2.1 Episode 44 "Cookies"
  3. 3.0 3.1 Episode 49A "Old Oak Doors Part A"
  4. Listener Questions 3
  5. Renovations
  6. Numbers
  7. Episode 43 "Visitor"
  8. Episode 46 "Parade Day"
  9. Episode 47 "Company Picnic"
  10. Episode 48 "Renovations"
  11. Episode 49B "Old Oak Doors Part B"
  12. Episode 135 "The Mudstone Abyss Part 1"