| Call me old fashioned, but the Big Bang should never have happened. Welcome to Night Vale. |
| — Cecil |
"Horoscopes" is the 272nd episode of Welcome to Night Vale. It was released on the 15th of August 2025.
Official synopsis[]
It's too hot to think. Let's let the stars guide us.
Plot summary[]
Due to how hot it is Cecil attempts to distract everyone by reading long horoscopes. During which we learn that Esteban is into witchcraft lately and went to a witch summer camp where he turned some other kids into bear cubs, prompting a mother bear to maul someone in defence of them. Now Cecil is looking into legal help against the angry parents of said transformed children. Also, Harrison Kip is still welcoming people into his religion...whatever that might be.
Recurring segments[]
Proverb
| You only get one life. Wouldn't it be hilarious if you pretended to be awesome at it? |
| — Proverb |