| Regret nothing. Until it is too late. Then, regret everything. Welcome to Night Vale. |
| — Cecil |
"Feral Dogs" is the 10th episode of Welcome to Night Vale. It was released on November 1, 2012.
Synopsis[]
A roving pack of feral dogs terrorizes Night Vale. Plus, a new installment of Community Health Tips, the Fireperson Appreciation Parade, and free admission day at the Museum of Forbidden Technologies!
Plot Developments[]
- Night Vale Boy Scouts: Two Boy Scouts are awarded the Invisibility Badge, a prerequisite for Eternal Scout.
- Time travel: The Museum of Forbidden Technologies has time machines.
Recurring Segments[]
A Word From Our Sponsors[]
And now a word from our sponsor: You come home. The lights are off. You get an uneasy feeling. Suddenly, the phone rings. You remember that you do not have a phone. It rings some more. You do not know what to do. Then, you remember that, yes, you do own a phone. Why wouldn't you own a phone. Everyone owns a phone. The phone is still ringing. Ha ha ha ha. How silly to think you didn't own a phone. It rings again. You smile and shrug and answer the ringing phone. It is still dark. "Hello," you say. "They are waiting for you," a whispery, gender-indeterminate voice tells you. "It is your time," it says. You turn on the light. You laugh again, wondering why it took you so long to turn on the light. "Gosh, it was dark," you think. "Hello?" the voice asks. You hang up, glad you remembered to buy Tropicana orange juice at least. Tropicana Pure Premium Orange Juice is made from the freshest oranges with no added flavors or preservatives. Also, you should get caller ID. It's the 21-century. How do you not have caller ID? Really? Tropicana.
Community Calendar[]
Let’s have a look at the community calendar.
This Sunday afternoon, The Night Vale Fire Department will be holding it's bi-weekly Fireperson Appreciation Parade. All of the town's Firefighters will be riding through Main Street on their bright red engines, which will be turned into floats depicting some of the greatest fires in Night Vale's History. One of my personal favorites is the 1983 Earthquake Dust Fire, when tremor-initiated fires became so intense that the airborne sand burst into deadly flames. Nearly the entire city population was lost, and the FDNV does a fantastic job capturing the drama with streamers and papier maché. The Fire Department would like to remind Night Vale citizens that the parade is free, and to check your coffee makers and gas stoves before you leave home, because they will not fight any fires while the parade is happening.
On Monday, the staff of Dark Owl Records will be wearing sweater vests.
Tuesday night is the Boy Scouts Court of Honor. The BSA will name its first ever Blood Pact Scouts, the rank just above Eagle Scout. So far, no Scout has attained the coveted position of Eternal Scout, but we have heard that two local boys -- Franklin Wilson and Barton Donovan -- have earned the Invisibility Badge, which is a prerequisite for the rank. Well done, Frank and Barty.
Wednesday afternoon is the Citywide Fitness Fair at the Rec Center. Last year's event was cancelled, as it was held on the same day and time as the Fried Chicken and Cigarette Fair. This year's event, however, promises to be a huge success, as they have secured a large corporate sponsorship from The Intelligence Group International, who will provide free prostate screenings, mammograms, and surgically-embedded government monitoring devices.
Thursday morning the National Weather Service and National Security Agency have scheduled a giant sandstorm.
Friday is an oasis, only a metaphor for something unattainable, a haunting dream of meaning for our lives. But don't look. Turn your head. Your life is here. Stay here. You are alone. You are so peacefully alone. That’s it. Yes. Good.
Community Health Tips[]
Let’s go now to Community Health Tips. Listeners, are you suffering from carpal tunnel syndrome? Are you enjoying carpal tunnel syndrome? Are you surprised by carpal tunnel syndrome? Are you enraged by carpal tunnel syndrome? Do you feel a throbbing sadness that you almost cannot stand from carpal tunnel syndrome? Do you feel a bounty of love and appreciation for your fellow human beings traveling through this confusing and finite lifetime with you from carpal tunnel syndrome? Do you get sexually aroused by carpal tunnel syndrome? That would be weird. Not to be judgmental but...it would be weird. This has been Community Health Tips.
Shades of the Sky[]
The sky tonight is a soft, quivering green. The wind is calm, but prepared. Get your sleep, Night Vale. And don’t forget to dream. Good Night.
Proverb
| Eating meat is a difficult moral decision, because it's stolen, that meat. You should apologize. |
| — Proverb |
Notes[]
- The credits for this episode were read by Joseph Fink.