Welcome to Night Vale Wiki

For the character, see The Faceless Old Woman (character).
For episode 164, see The Faceless Old Woman (Live).
Trumpets playing soft jazz from out of the dark desert distance. They come tomorrow. It is too late for us. Welcome to Night Vale.
— Cecil

"Faceless Old Woman" is the 26th episode of Welcome to Night Vale. It was originally released on July 1, 2013, and repeated again on January 1, 2016.


There is a faceless old woman secretly living in your home, and she has something she needs to say. Plus, former intern Dana is still alive and texting us from the forbidden Dog Park, Community Health Tips, and an update on the kittens.

Plot Developments[]

Recurring Segments[]

  • Community Health Tips


This episode was aired twice. The first proverb is from the premiere, while the second is from its repeat.

Proverb 1:

The human soul weighs 21 grams, smells like grilled vegetables, looks like a wrinkled tartan quilt, and sounds like bridge traffic.
— Proverb

Proverb 2:

How to have a successful podcast: 1: Learn what podcasting is. 2: Do I need a mic? 3: Cereal is a thing, right? 4: Like the radio?
— Proverb


  • This episode was re-released on January 1st, 2016 with better sound quality. It also had the new theme as well as a different weather and a proverb. To avoid confusion, the title had changed to "Faceless Old Woman (R)".